Growing up, I always admired the kind of friendships you see in the movies. You know the ones—four or five gorgeous, successful women taking girls’ trips every other weekend, laughing over oversized glasses of wine in the backyard of somebody’s mansion, and somehow nobody ever has to work on Monday.
BFFs for life… right? Yeah… not exactly.
You imagine making it through high school or college with your forever people. The ones who’ll stand beside you at your wedding, become your children’s godparents, know every secret you’ve ever sworn them to keep, and still be around when you’re old and gray.
Somewhere along the way, people change. Friendships fade. Misunderstandings happen. Sometimes there’s no huge fight or dramatic ending—it just… dries up. One day you’re talking every day, and the next you’re liking each other’s Instagram stories like distant cousins.
Your Goals , Priorities & Interests Have Changed.
Maybe you started a business. Maybe you became a wife or a mom. Or maybe you’ve fallen in love with traveling while they’re still stagnant in the habits you’re trying to get away from. Life changes us.
The things that once brought you together may no longer exist, and that’s okay. Growth isn’t betrayal, it’s progression. Sometimes people are only meant to walk with you for a season, not the entire journey.
You’re not treated like a friend
Being mistreated by the people closest to you just isn’t something I’m willing to normalize. If you’re constantly begging for the same effort you freely give, pay attention.
Trips are planned without you. Birthday dinners somehow “slipped their mind”, and there’s a group chat that you’re not in it. Sound familiar? Girl… let it go.
Real friendship shouldn’t leave you questioning where you stand every other week. If your love, support, and loyalty are never returned, is it really a friendship?
The friendship didn’t start on a solid foundation
Sometimes, the reason behind a friendship matters. How did you meet? What did you have in common? Was there any real intention to build a strong friendship in the first place? Chances are, if the foundation isn’t genuine, the friendship can’t be built to last.
What I’ve learned in all of this, is to sort my relationships accordingly. Here is how I compartmentalize friendships…
The Frenemie : Judgemental, non supportive, would rather die before seeing you win, jealous….yea we know the type. I’m pretty sure we can all identify someone like this in our lives at one point or another. More than likely they want something that you have and hate you for it. Could be your children, your marriage, your award winning personality, career or good-looks.
Whatever the reason, this person doesn’t want to see you at your full potential. Started a new business? Don’t count on their support... Getting married? They’ll come to the wedding, but just to talk about everything they see wrong with it… Long story short, they don’t really like you.
The Occasional Friend : The one you call for outings and special occasions, but really nothing more. You don’t necessarily confide in them, or at least not with anything too major. You like them, but you have a few things in common.
The Associate : You’ll speak here and there when the opportunity presents itself. You don’t really hang out with them, and they know very little (if anything at all) when it comes to your personal life. You don’t have too much in common, but when you feel like vibing with them, you will.
The Opportunist: Your friendship with an opportunist is solely based upon what you can do for them. If they don’t benefit, they don’t have a reason for the friendship to persist. Plain and simple.
The True Friend : 🎶My friends, real friends, better than your friends, yeah🎶 (in my best attempt to sound like Beyoncé)……The literal textbook definition of what a friend is, and should be. They’re loyal, honest and trustworthy. They support everything you do and always have your best interest at hand. They celebrate your victories and are NEVER jealous. They truly love you, they’re your soulmate from friendship heaven.
They’re the ones you aren’t afraid to be vulnerable with because you know they’ll never judge you. The ones that aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong. The ones that bounce right back after a disagreement. The ones that won’t let you walk out the house in that outfit you think is cute but you really look a mess…. THESE ARE THE FRIENDS WE LIVE FOR! A true friend will always be patient, forgiving and supportive, and you’ll work to maintain this relationship at all costs. You may not see or speak to your friend very often, but you know that this friendship is genuine Handle it with extreme care.
Ironically, this post almost didn’t age well (I originally wrote it 6 years ago!) . My best friend and I actually went two years without speaking because of a disagreement. Looking back, it wasn’t even about who was right or wrong. We simply didn’t understand why the other person felt the way they did. Instead of having an honest conversation like adults, we let silence do the talking. Recently, I decided to reach out, and to my surprise, it was like no time had passed. That experience reminded me what a true friendship really looks like. Real friends can disagree, grow, forgive, and find their way back to each other. She’s an incredible friend who genuinely loves me, and I feel exactly the same about her. Sometimes the strongest friendships aren’t the ones that never face challenges, they’re the ones worth fighting for.
That experience reminded me that not every friendship is meant to end forever. Some relationships simply need time, growth, grace, and one person willing to make the first move.
A Note from Lexi:
If you’re reading this and you’ve been grieving the loss of a friendship, I hope you know you’re not alone. Some friendships are meant to last a lifetime. Others are meant to teach us something before they quietly fade away.
If you’re fortunate enough to have even one person who celebrates your wins, tells you the truth, laughs until they cry with you, and still answers the phone when life gets messy—hold onto them.
Those friendships are rare, and for sure worth protecting.
What type of friend are you? Have you ever reconnected with a friend after years apart, or have you learned to let certain friendships go? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
See you in the next post,
Lexi 🤍
