Have you ever said something a thousand times and then one day stopped and thought, Wait…why do I even say that?
That has been happening to me more as I grow in my relationship with God. I’ve started noticing certain things Christians should stop saying—or at least become more intentional about—because there are phrases I’ve used for years simply because everybody says them. But the more intentional I become about my faith, the more I realize it should show up in the ordinary parts of my life too, including the way I speak.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” I don’t believe every random sentence we speak magically determines what happens in our lives, but I do believe our words matter. They can encourage or tear down, reflect gratitude or constant dissatisfaction, and sometimes reveal what’s happening inside of us before we even realize it.
This isn’t a list of Christian rules, and I’m definitely not writing it as someone who has mastered any of it. These are simply a few things I’ve personally become more intentional about saying.
And apparently, God has a few notes about my mouth. 😂
1. “You’re Driving Me Crazy”
Let’s start with one of my biggest offenses because I probably tell my children some variation of “y’all are driving me crazy” at least 50 times a day.
I’m not suddenly afraid that saying the word “crazy” will make something terrible happen. For me, it’s about the habit behind my words. If I’m constantly describing my children, responsibilities, job or life as things that make me miserable, eventually I have to ask myself what kind of attitude I’m feeding.
Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to use words that build others up. That doesn’t mean pretending life isn’t frustrating. Sometimes these kids really are working my LAST good nerve. 😵💫 But I can acknowledge frustration without constantly speaking negatively about the people and circumstances God has given me.
2. “Nobody’s Perfect”
Of course nobody is perfect. If perfection were a requirement for following Jesus, we’d all be in trouble.
The problem comes when I use “nobody’s perfect” as an excuse not to deal with something I already know needs to change. There’s a difference between giving myself grace while I’m growing and using grace as permission to stay exactly where I am.
Romans 12:2 talks about being transformed by the renewing of our minds. Following Christ should change us over time, not overnight and definitely not without mistakes, but there should be growth.
Sometimes God isn’t asking me to feel guilty about my imperfections. He’s asking me to let Him work on them.
3. “God Knows My Heart”
This one is tricky because it’s absolutely true. God does know my heart, my intentions and the things nobody else knows about me. But I’ve also used “God knows my heart” as a convenient defense when my actions didn’t line up with what I knew was right.
Well, God knows my intentions.
Okay, but what about the actual thing you did?
Good intentions don’t automatically erase poor decisions. If I say I love people, eventually that should show up in how I treat them. If I say I trust God, that trust should eventually influence the way I make decisions.”
God knowing my heart is comforting, but He also loves me enough to keep working on what’s in it.
4. “That’s Just Who I Am”
Growing up, my mom used to correct me about my attitude and anger. My response was basically, “Oh well, that’s just me.”
Translation: Everybody else is going to have to deal with it because I have absolutely no plans to change.
But how often does “that’s just who I am” become an excuse to stay comfortable with something God may be trying to change?
Galatians 5:22–23 describes the fruit of the Spirit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. If something in me consistently works against those things, maybe “that’s just who I am” isn’t a good enough reason to hold onto it.
This may be who I’ve been, but it doesn’t have to be who I stay.
5. “I Hate…”
If you’ve ever heard me say “I hate getting up for work,” “I hate paying bills,” or “I hate doing my daughter’s hair,” please mind your business. 😂 I am working on myself.
There are things I genuinely don’t enjoy doing, and being a Christian doesn’t require me to pretend otherwise. But I’m learning to look at what sits on the other side of my complaints.
“I hate getting up for work” can become, Thank You, God, for employment.
“I hate paying bills” can remind me that I have a home, electricity, water and the ability to cover those expenses.
Even “I hate doing my daughter’s hair” looks different when I remember there may be a day when she isn’t sitting in front of me asking me to do it anymore.
First Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. I’m allowed to be tired and want things to improve. I just don’t want complaining to become so natural that I stop noticing what’s already good.
6. “I’ll Pray for You”—and Then Don’t
Guilty. 🙋🏾♀️
Someone tells me they’re grieving, sick, struggling financially or going through something difficult. I say, “I’ll pray for you.”
And then life happens.
Five hours later, somebody needs dinner, my phone is ringing, the kids need something and, Lord forgive me, I completely forgot about that prayer.
So I’ve started trying to pray when I say I’m going to pray. It doesn’t have to be long. Sometimes it’s simply, God, please be with her. Give her what she needs and let her know You’re near.
James 5:16 reminds us that prayer is powerful. I’ve even found myself quietly praying for complete strangers when I feel led to. I may not know what they need, but God does.
If I tell someone “I’ll pray for you,” I want it to actually mean something.
7. “Everything Happens for a Reason”
Of all the things Christians should stop saying, or at least reconsider, this may be the one I’ve wrestled with most. Usually when we say “everything happens for a reason,” we’re trying to be comforting. But not every painful situation needs an explanation.
Telling someone who just lost someone they love that “everything happens for a reason” can feel incredibly dismissive. Sometimes they don’t need us to explain their pain. They need us to sit beside them in it.
I also don’t believe we should automatically attribute every terrible thing that happens to God. People make harmful choices. We live in a broken world. There are things that happen that I simply don’t understand, and faith doesn’t require me to pretend that I do.
What I can believe is that God can meet us in everything.
Romans 8:28 tells us that God works things together for the good of those who love Him. That doesn’t mean everything that happens is good. It means God can take something painful, unfair or completely broken and still bring good from it.
It’s Really About Being Intentional
When I think about these things Christians should stop saying, I don’t believe God wants us walking around afraid that one wrong phrase will ruin our lives. For me, this is simply about becoming more aware.
The closer I get to God, the more I notice things about myself that I never questioned before. Sometimes they’re big things, and sometimes they’re tiny habits I’ve had my entire life.
I’m still going to complain sometimes. I’ll probably still tell these kids they’re driving me crazy. 😭 I’m human.
But I want to be teachable.
I want gratitude to come more naturally than complaining. I want “I’ll pray for you” to actually mean I’ll pray for you. And I don’t want to use comfortable phrases to excuse things God may be asking me to change.
Not because saying all the “right” things makes me a good Christian, but because following Christ should eventually touch every part of my life. Even my mouth.
The goal isn’t to perfectly control every word we say, but to stay close enough to God that we’re willing to let Him change the heart they’re coming from.
Thanks for doing life with me,
— LEXI 🤍
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