I can’t remember how the conversation started or why we were thinking about death in the first place. But I remember asking a coworker how old she was, and after she told me, I said something along the lines of, “Do you realize you’ve already lived through the date you’re going to die at least that many times? You just don’t know which day it is.”
We both paused and looked at each other like, Oh, shit, as if I’d just said something extremely deep and groundbreaking. But I had to sit with that thought myself for a minute. Seriously, think about it. Every year, we unknowingly pass the date that will eventually be our last. We celebrate birthdays, make vacation plans, worry about bills, and carry on as if tomorrow is guaranteed. Meanwhile, there’s a date on the calendar that none of us knows belongs to us. And ironically, that coworker has since passed away.
Since that conversation, I’ve found myself wondering about dying more often. Not in a morbid way, but out of sheer curiosity. It’s such a bizarre thing to think about. One minute you’re here, going about your business, and the next, you’re not. And the craziest part is that most of us have no idea when we’re doing something for the very last time.
Sometimes I wonder how I’ll die. Will I still be fairly young, or will I live a long, full life? Will I see it coming, or will it happen completely unexpectedly? And while thinking about these things can make me a little anxious, my faith in God keeps me from being fearful about leaving this earth.
I’ve written before about what it means to trust God when you’re feeling anxious, and I think that same faith plays a big part in how I approach the unknown.
God, If You’re Taking Requests…
I know we don’t get to choose when or how we die, but if God ever gave me a say, I’d have a few preferences. First, I’d want to live long enough to see all my children grown, financially stable, and able to take care of themselves. I’d also ask that none of my children pass away before me. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a child.
And lastly, when my time comes, I’d prefer a quick and painless exit. No drowning, burning, terrible car accidents, or long, drawn-out illnesses. Absolutely none of that, please and thank you. If God could grant me those few requests, we’d be good. Lol. I know that’s not how any of this works, but a girl can ask, right?
Thinking About Death: Would You Want to Know?
If you could know the exact date you’re going to die, would you want to?
Me? Absolutely not. Hell no. I’d have so much anxiety walking around with a countdown to my own death that I wouldn’t be able to function. Every birthday, every holiday, every random Tuesday, I’d be calculating how much time I had left. Some things are better left a mystery.
Now, if you could choose the day you were going to die, that’s a different question. Would you pick a date? And how would you even decide? Personally, I think I’d still leave that one up to God. I’ve already submitted my list of requests. I’m not trying to take over the entire operation.
So tell me, do you ever think about the day you’ll die? Would you want to know when it’s coming? And if you could choose the date yourself, would you?
And remember, designate one trusted person to have your phone’s password, because we all know there are some things that need to be deleted before everybody gets in your business. Stay alive!
Thanks for doing life with me!
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