So you have a kid or two ( or 7…..) and for some of us, we’re wondering how we even got to this point (well, I think we all know how, but you get my drift….) and for others, you knew exactly what you wanted regarding a family life and achieved just that. Now, if I’m being honest, I never saw myself with a family growing up. I never wanted children and loathed the idea of trading a life’s worth of freedom in exchange for taking care of some. But look at me now, a mom of 3!
Despite my past feelings of motherhood, I wouldn’t trade my children for the world. I have a sense of purpose and accomplishment with them. I have a love for them that I never knew was possible and they give me something to look forward to every single day. But my question here is, how did you know when your family was complete? Did you stop when you were at your financial limit? Was it a magic number you and your spouse decided upon? Just a gut feeling? For me, it was more of a feeling than anything. After my girls, we never planned on having another child. But when I got pregnant with my son, I immediately knew I needed him.
Here are a few things I considered before expanding my family:
Tolerance: The first thing I asked myself when I found out I was pregnant was, “Can we handle this?” and “Do we feel like starting over again?”….. My girls are 16, 17, and 6 years old. A far cry from having to take care of a newborn again, right? We haven’t had to change a diaper, get up in the middle of the night, or haul car seats and strollers for years. Did we have the patience and tolerance to start all that over now? Truthfully, I didn’t think so, but after some consideration and a lot of communication, I knew this wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle.
Financial Stability: Having an income that could sufficiently cover the needs of your growing family is another thing, I believe, most of us take into consideration when it comes to growing our households. Because more children usually always means more money to spend.
Space: Something else I thought about was the amount of space we had. We’re already a family of 5, so space was an important factor for us, not only in our home but also in our cars. I had to swap my car out for a bigger SUV to be sure I could accommodate all of us at once if needed. How important is space to you? What are some of the ways you made room for everyone in your family?
Support: As parents, we’re the ones who have to worry about caring for and watching over our children most of the time. But having a reliable support system is equally important, especially if we are ever in need of help or even periodic breaks from time to time- and breaks are oh so important.
Freedom: How much do you value your freedom? How much would you lose if you were to add more children to your load? Luckily for me, I’m finding ways to still live a life where I’m able to enjoy my time alone and with my family as a whole. Freedom is important to me, but I also cherish the time we spend having fun together as a unit. In a nutshell, if you’re a person who would still consider yourself selfish, or not willing to split your time with anyone, that’s completely ok! The important thing here is that you willingly acknowledge that. Because there would be nothing worse than having a child you regret simply because your freedom is more restricted. This, I believe, is the most important deciding factor for most of us. I even had a moment of pause when trying to figure out how I would continue to travel and live my life on my terms if I added another child to the mix. Then I had to remember, that it’s not impossible! People do it all the time. Would it be different, of course, 🤷🏽♀️, but would it be so bad that I would have to completely go without doing the things I love? Of course not! A little compromise and flexibility can go a long way.
What factors did you consider before starting or expanding your family? What would you say was the most important? Did you always dream of the family you have now?
TTYL 💋
LEXI
