As a mother of three, I think I’ve encountered just about every hardship there is when it comes to parenting. Not having enough time for yourself, random mental breakdowns, being an effective step parent, being the teacher/doctor/counselor/referee/disciplinarian/ dishwasher/ butt wiper/and playmate all in one; I’ve been through it all – even a depressed stage. We are constantly so wrapped up in taking care of our households, but who takes care of us? Up until now, I haven’t completely understood the importance of self care, and taking a break when needed.
Obviously, we won’t choose to permanently rid ourselves of our parental duties (or would we 🤔), but here are a few steps that I take to ease the stress of parenting.
1. Utilize your support system and other resources…
If you’re lucky, you have a great support system of family and friends that are willing to help you lighten your load if needed. Use them! Without taking advantage, try setting up a couple days per week (or month) where a friend or relative can take responsibility over your child(ren). Whether it be for a few hours or a few days, having the opportunity to spend some time alone can be very rewarding. For me, my mother is my primary ‘go – to’ person. She lives minutes away from us, and usually doesn’t mind having girls over for a little quality time.
What about if you don’t have a support system?
If you don’t have a support system or maybe just live a little too far away from your loved ones, you can always try utilizing community resources in your neighborhood. Try a babysitting service or day camp, where you will be able compensate someone you trust to look after your kiddo.
2. Prioritize your day
You may be in a situation where you aren’t able to spend anytime away from your children. However, better organizing your day can help you at least finalize your responsibilities earlier. This way,you’re able to free up some alone time later on.
I’m away from work at the moment, so my load has been lightened tremendously. Without the responsibilities of being an employer as well as a mother, I get to solely focus on my parental duties. While the girls are at school, I use that time to prepare dinner, clean, organize clothes for the next, etc.
3. Hide and Cry
Take a quick second to feel your feelings. Hide in a closet, the bathroom, your car (my favorite place) or even under the bed. It doesn’t matter where, just as long as you are able to release your emotions outside the presence of your children – or anyone else. It relieves me almost instantly when I get a moment of release. I think we all know the moment when we just want to scream or throw something! That’s the exact second you need to go a find a hiding place.
4. Seek Therapy
Don’t be afraid Or embarrassed to seek professional help, especially if you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, regret or increased anger. We want to be as healthy as we can, mentally and emotionally for ourselves and our families. Go seek help if you need to!
5. Keep the Kids Busy
Try to give the kids things to do that don’t necessarily involve you. Watching a movie, playing a game with siblings, coloring, doing puzzles, reading, educational computer games; are all quiet activities your children can do with minimal supervision. Keeping them busy this way, also gives you a break.
6. Breathe
If all else fails, just BREATHE. Utilizing coping skills under stress, such as taking deep breathes, can help you immensely. If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with all the demands that parenthood carries, try to walk away from your child(ren), If possible, to gather your composure. Take about 3 minutes to think about your next course of action, implement a coping skill that works best for you, and simply……breathe.
What are some of things you do when ‘mothering’ gets the best of you? Let’s talk!
XO,
Lexi
