My first born is getting older, and I’m not too thrilled about it 🥲. I mean, of course I know children grow into adults right? We know that one day they’d have to go out on their own and face life without us. But if I can be completely honest here, I have trouble acknowledging the fact that sooner or later I’m going to have to let go. And I have EXTREME anxiety around this.
I celebrated my daughter, Jordyn’s, 15th Birthday earlier this month, and I couldn’t help but to realize how beautiful she’s becoming, how much she’s maturing and her eagerness to ‘let go of my hand’, in a sense. But the more I think about loosening my grip, the more I remind myself of how mean and relentless the world can be. How, when it sees a black face it shows no mercy. How kidnappings and murders are just as common as brushing your teeth in the morning. I seriously consume my thoughts with thinking about the worst possible situations and EVERYTHING that could go wrong. What if they get into a bad car accident? What if this, what if that…. Maybe I watch too many crime shows, or maybe it’s a mix of things I’ve been through and our reality.
I often wonder if I’ll ever be completely ready for what’s to come. Is there something special parents do to prepare for this? Or is it something we eventually just get over? I’m a Helicopter parent for sure! And I want to conquer the anxiety I have around this. But until I learn how to do that effectively, here are a few things that have helped me prepare myself in the meantime…
Influence Certain Friendships
Now I’m sure most of us have a favorite friend for our children. The one who’s well rounded, kind and full of common sense. The kind of friend that if you, at any time, doubt your child’s judgement, you know this particular friend would would step in to make the the right call. It just eases my mind knowing that they’re spending their time with generally good kids. There’s nothing more important than the people who you surround yourself with. It’ll help to shape who they are tremendously!
Keep Your Relationship Tight
One thing I’m adamant on doing is keeping the relationship I have with my daughters super tight! I always want them to know that they can come to me for literally ANYTHING, no matter the extremity of a situation. This way, I won’t have to worry about not knowing what’s going on in their lives, and in turn, feel more comfortable with their position in adulthood. You become less of a parent and more of a friend as your children age. So try to be the best one they have!
What Will Be, Will Be
I’ve learned to adopt the “It Is What It Is” attitude with a lot of things. It helps me to understand that I can’t stress over situations outside of my control. Now, of course as a parent, you’re going to worry about your child no matter how old they are. It’s natural. You’re going to constantly think about their well-being and safety every single day. But this doesn’t mean we have to obsess over all of the ‘what if’s’. We’d just end up going insane if we did. Instead, try focusing more on the positive and believe that they’ll be fine.
Trust Your Parenting. Trust Your Child
My two oldest daughter’s are at the age where they’re just beginning to get a little freedom. Walking to nearby stores or hanging out with friends with less supervision are things quite foreign to them. But how will they ever learn to function without me if I didn’t start teaching them now? As parents, we have to trust that we’ve done a good job with teaching them how to conduct themselves, how to make effective decisions and how to identify uncomfortable situations. I trust that I’ve done a good job installing the right morals into them. I also trust that they’ll practice what they were taught. Will mistakes be made? Of course! It’s all a part of growing up, and mistakes are actually the best teachers!
Pray About It
Talking to God about my children daily, gives me the hope I need to know that they’ll be ok. Without Him, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to let go. So don’t be afraid to talk to God about your worries. Put your anxiety in His hands. You’ll feel a lot better when you do 😉.
Are you anxious about your children leaving home? Are you already an Empty Nester? How did you cope? Let’s chat!
TTYL,
LEXI 💋
